Bottom

Holly has a bit of an infection, resulting in occasional toilet accidents...
Daddy: "You know, when you have a poorly bottom, it is a good idea to try to keep your farts in. Because when you are poorly sometimes your farts get mixed up with your poo and it all comes out at once. By mistake."
Holly: "So you mean I need to try to button up my bottom..?"
Daddy: "Absolutely."
Holly: "It's just... sometimes... my poo needs to come out so desperately that it bursts the buttons on my bottom."

Performances

We have had speaking parts in various places this week... Rosie had to say "We have dressed in traditional Indian clothes." Holly had to say "We are using sugar, water, and milk powder." Daddy had to say "Ladies and Gentlemen, will you please be upstanding for the Bride and Groom", and Mummy had to go to Exeter to give an hour long presentation on why she is fantastic to a bunch of professors and doctors.

Numbers

Rosie was counting creatively today. "2, 1, 4, 3, 6, 5, 8, 7, 10, 9." Daddy thinks this is extraordinarily clever.

Philosophy of Language

Rosie: "You know dogs. They hear human people going 'ruff, ruff ruff' but they do hear themselves speaking like 'oh yes. Very much. Thank you.' And people when they hear dogs they hear the dogs going 'ruff ruff' but they hear themselves saying like ordinary speaking."

Galleries

Rosie: "You know those shops with pictures in and you can't buy them... What's that for?!?"

Excuse me

In a nice little tea-room in St Ives.

Holly: "BRAAAAAAP!"
Mummy: "What do you say?"
Holly: "..."
Mummy: "You say 'Excuse me.'"
Holly: "Excuse me...."
Rosie: "Daddy doesn't say it."
Daddy: "Daddy always says it. When he is with his children..."
Holly: "But when you FART you always FORGET!"

Being brainy

Another discussion about how it is good to eat fish because it makes you brainy.

Rosie: "I am already brainer! I know I am brainer because in my head I think Daddy's thoughts!"

Heh...

Best behaviour

Rosie: "Daddy, is that a fish and chip shop?"
Daddy: "No. That is a restaurant. If we go there you have to be polite and nice and well-behaved."
Rosie: "... I can't do that."

Senses

Rosie: "Daddy! We are using our senses at school nowadays."

That's a relief. It won't be many years before they stop doing that.

Lovesong

Holly made up a song in the car today:

I love you!
I love you!
Gabriel!
Gabriel!

Social Chameleon

Not unrelated to the previous post, Holly has been thinking about her birthday party (next year): "Daddy. Please may I have a batman cake at my birthday party?"

Wedding Plans

Holly: "I have decided who I am going to marry when I am a grown up."
Daddy: "Who is that?"
Holly (whispers): "Gabriel."

Rain

Holly: "The clouds... are controlled by bad people with special goggles that help them see people walking along and they control the clouds with special knobs... and they follow people and rain on them.... To spoil their day."

Roadsigns

Holly and Rosie know loads of roadsigns.

Mummy: "Can you see this one?...

...Do you know what that means?"

Holly: "SWORDS in the road!"

Only having one loo

Daddy: "Rosie. Are you doing a wee or a poo...?
Rosie: "A wee."
Daddy foolishly relaxes.
Rosie: "...aaaaand, a poo."

Marcus

Rosie: "Marcus has not been in school for about many weeks."
Daddy: "Oh yeah..."
Rosie: "But do you know what he was in today?"
Daddy: "What?"
Rosie: "School."