Daddy, Holly and Rosie were all piled up on the sofa watching Storymakers today, Rosie with her legs and, significantly, shoes in his lap. The sensitive part of his lap. Where gentlemen keep their sensitive extremities. The extent to which this area is, for want of a better word, sensitive, cannot be stressed too highly.

Suddenly, with nothing in the way of warning, Rosie sprang both legs into the air and brought her shod plates down squarely into the midst of Daddy's...

..."Knackers!" As she so proudly announced while Daddy curled into a foetal position and exhaled with a pronounced wheeze.