Young, gifted and slack

Mummy went to the parent-teacher meetings today. Holly's class teacher has placed her on the register for gifted and talented children. Rosie's teacher is making the case to the registration people that she ought also to be on it, but that she couldn't be arsed demonstrating how gifted and talented she is on the assessment day...!

Cars

Rosie: "Why did you and Mummy sell your Mini car..?"
Daddy: "Because it was too small, and we knew we were having two babies!"
Holly: "Why didn't you buy a LIMOUSINE?"

Ballerinas

Rosie: "My ballerina is a PREEMA ballerina."
Holly: "My ballerina is a PREEMA ballerina as well."
Rosie: "...Well... My ballerina is the PREEMEST."

Staying up late

Daddy: "Ok. It's five minutes until bedtime, but I'm going to let you stay up late to wait for Mummy to come home. OK?"
Both: "HALLELUJAH!"

Courting

Holly: "Daddy.... Do you like looking after babies?"
Daddy: "Yes. I like looking after babies a lot."
Holly: "Then, when I am grown up, will you be my husband please?"

Ghosts

Rosie: "Holly is scared of ghosts, but that's silly because all you have to do is say "Woo - woo" all nice and politely and they go away because you are speaking their own language."

Daddy, what's that?

At Horton Park Farm.
Rosie: "Daddy, what's that?"
Daddy: "Um... That's a castration ring applicator."
...
Rosie: "What's a 'castration ring applicator' for?"

Knots and Bows

Rosie: "Holly... Did you know that kids can undo bows, but they can't make bows, and that kids can make knots but not undo knots..."

More geometry

Holly suddenly said "I know what you call a rectangle that isn't flat but which comes up off the table. A cuboid." Her knowledge of niche facts is extraordinary.

Death

Holly: "When Granny-Barbara died, did she go in one of those... those.... What are they called? They are like big triangles with a square at the bottom...?"
Daddy: "What - a pyramid?!"
Holly: "Yes! - A PYRAMID!"
Daddy: "Well, no, she wasn't an ancient Egyptian queen."
Holly: "But that's what they did with dead people a long time ago!"

Thus begins a long discussion about digging holes to put dead people in, graveyards, gravestones, and some worried questions about "what makes people dead, Daddy?" and finally "what makes people be alive, Daddy?"

Tubers

Rosie: "Daddy... How do you make potatoes?"
Daddy: "Well, they grow underground because they are a special sort of root. They are called 'tubers' actually."
Holly: "I know what a tuber is..."
Daddy: "Oh yes...?"
Holly: "Yes, a 'root' normally grows under the ground, but a 'tuber' is a special sort of a root that grows on top of the ground."

Heavens. That taught Daddy.

Spice Girls

Somehow, somewhen, and - frankly - somewhy, Rosie has partially learned Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

"If you wanna be my lather, bip bop bip bop boo."
"If you wanna be my lather, you should have seen da laav."
"If you wanna be my lather, you should have seen the plough."
...

Fish

Rosie described the difference between fish in the sea and fish in your fish fingers. "Fish in your fingers is fellated."